tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77082882162571680562024-03-18T05:12:41.697-04:00Don't ShrinkThe life and times of ALS patient, Tony Conway. Continued by his widow, Amanda.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16419807646775774233noreply@blogger.comBlogger604125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-38927436700274692562019-07-25T21:53:00.000-04:002019-07-25T21:53:26.669-04:00And again...Here I am again... about a year after my last post and in a similar place. Must be the time of the year. I don't post very often because changes in my life are incremental now... not easy to track or to write about.
On any given day, there is a montage of self-help strategies, inspirational quotes, and second guessing that is constantly running through my head. Sometimes I think I should Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-78431484598193981682018-08-02T22:52:00.002-04:002018-08-02T22:52:58.968-04:00ReflectionI have been mulling over a new post for months. I could just never complete a narrative... never bring my thoughts to some conclusion or direction. So this is a good old status update... where I've been and where I am now. Not too exciting or insightful, but worthy all the same.
I finished my first year of work, but it was touch and go. Sometimes the most basic things were a struggle. But I Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-85074597773107194372018-04-23T12:32:00.000-04:002018-04-23T12:32:17.067-04:00Domino's Delivers the Conway CupThis year would have been the 7th Conway Cup... I say "would" because we couldn't make it work this year. The one day that we could get the fields was the same day that VMI had scheduled FTX (field training exercises) and nearly all of our work force and several of our teams would have been gone. I do a lot of the work leading up to the Cup, but I do very little on the day. The cadets do all thatAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-43358135445117582662018-02-13T21:47:00.000-05:002018-02-13T21:47:49.386-05:00Princess Reality**WARNING** deep secrets will be revealed below**
Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a particular habit when trying to go to sleep. I would always daydream (or would this be nightdream?) about me and a certain handsome fellow. The fellow and what we were doing (ahem) changed over time, but the premise was always the same. I found it was always useful for turning my brain off and settlingAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-41756367774015911862017-10-21T09:14:00.000-04:002017-10-21T09:46:11.014-04:00Unfinished ThoughtsWhen I write a blog post, I usually have it completely thought through in my head. I work out the theme, figure out why it's relevant, and then try to bring it to conclusion. But lately, I haven't been able to do that. Either I've got too many other things floating through my head, or I just haven't finished processing these things yet. Either way, I find myself struggling these days.
I've Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-88575305704078367532017-10-08T17:41:00.000-04:002017-10-08T19:42:51.386-04:00Summer PlaylistI have quite a few posts floating around in my head, I just need to find the time to write them up. This one is brief though...
Summer has officially left us and it was another good one. I rediscovered some things that I had forgotten, and ran across some skills I thought I had lost. I found out that some people will never stop surprising me, and realized I could still surprise myself. These Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-30943992951022131362017-07-06T09:34:00.001-04:002017-07-06T19:31:57.122-04:00July 5th again... There seems to be something about July 5th that sends my life in a new direction.
It was that day six years ago that Tony first went to a doctor about his symptoms, two days before Louise was born. That appointment was the first of many, and my life was changed forever.
I have been reflecting a lot about where I am these days. It's been two and a half years since Tony died. Sometimes, it feels a Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-42178166839718805022017-07-03T22:12:00.001-04:002017-07-03T22:20:10.562-04:00@RedJacketJakeI said a few months ago that I was ready for new, good stuff to happen, but I didn't anticipate the flip side of that. New things in your life often means saying goodbye to old parts of your life... and sometimes that is really awful. (more on this to come)
Last weekend, we had to say goodbye to Jake, Tony's loyal service dog. He was diagnosed with kidney failure a few months ago, and he had Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-3394019275016174702017-05-24T12:16:00.000-04:002017-05-24T12:16:08.784-04:00What the Government Safety Net Really MeansAfter the roll-out of the President's budget plan this week, I wanted to explain how the government "safety-net" programs have helped my family in the past years. Although we all know someone who receives help from these programs, we don't often discuss it. I think it's time that changed. People need to fully understand these programs, how they help, and what the proposed cuts will mean.
Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-22148372554040192132017-05-05T22:57:00.002-04:002017-05-05T22:57:38.955-04:00First PitchI got a call yesterday that I could never have imagined... Coach Hadra invited me to throw out the first pitch at tonight's VMI baseball game. The Southern Conference is supporting Pete Frates' Strike Out ALS in all their games this weekend; I even got a mention in the press release.
May is ALS Awareness month, and I have been trying to figure out what to say. It deserves more than one postAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-25665281956226981032017-01-29T20:40:00.000-05:002017-01-29T20:40:31.851-05:00LegacyA wise man wrote that legacy is "planting seeds in a garden you never get to see."
Last night I spoke briefly at the VMI Men's Soccer senior banquet. In preparation for that, I thought back on what I had said at the last banquet, in October 2015. (Someone reminded me that this was actually the third banquet in a row I have spoken... how did that happen?) In 2015, I thanked the families for all Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-73788956492784904762017-01-19T14:23:00.002-05:002017-01-19T14:23:59.888-05:00Widow-lescence: Phase twoIt was Sept 2015 when I first wrote about "widow-lescence," the process of coming back into the world after losing Tony. That was six months after he died.
A year and a half later, it's time for an update.
The first phase was piecing together the remaining parts of my life. I lost my best friend, and my biggest and most time consuming (by which I mean 24 hr) job, caring for him. That Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-28343117509443549512017-01-05T21:22:00.001-05:002017-01-05T21:22:25.896-05:00Extended FamilyThey say you don't get to pick your family. I suppose that's literally true, but it has not been my experience.
We are lucky enough to have a big extended family... the kind of family we have picked, or more accurately... who have picked us. They are some incredible people and I am so grateful for them.
We took a little trip in the week between Christmas and New Year's to visit a few families Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-18388759178817956732016-12-07T07:26:00.002-05:002016-12-07T07:26:45.396-05:00Making RoomLife is a series of transitions. The latest in mine is that my mom sold the house we grew up in, and moved in with us while her new house is being built.
We started cleaning out her house in April, but there was a big push in the last few weeks to get it done. During that process, I was also cleaning out my house to get ready for her. I still have loads of Tony's stuff. Apparently, I am Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-11876012575666877262016-11-04T10:33:00.002-04:002016-11-04T10:33:44.719-04:00October Surprise
I'm on my second round of things without Tony. In some ways, it has gotten easier or at least I am getting used to it. I still feel his loss, and I still think about him all the time. But it's more of an underlying ache, not the raw wound it was. But it can still hit me really hard, and it seems to happen at strange times.
The first summer without Tony, I know I overdid it. This past Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-3896367906666454722016-10-03T11:41:00.001-04:002016-10-03T11:41:19.478-04:00Happy birthday to youAs your birthday approached this year, I asked the girls what they would like to do to celebrate it. I reminded them that you would like us to do something fun... either something you would like, or something they would like. I gave them a few ideas, but within a moment or two they both shouted out "Chuck E Cheese!" (in case someone doesn't know... Chuck E. Cheese)
I'll admit it. They outsmartedAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-46369570835502848932016-09-29T13:56:00.001-04:002016-09-29T15:19:18.991-04:00Who Tells Your StoryAs I mentioned before, seeing Hamilton on Broadway was an incredible experience. It's weeks later, and I still think back to it all the time. The girls and I listen to the songs, and they know so many of the words already.
It is an incredible show that has blown away all the norms for a theater musical. It was nominated for 16 Tony awards. The cast recording album debuted at #12 on the Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-74531644473972208392016-09-16T11:15:00.002-04:002016-09-16T11:15:35.755-04:00Colbert and Back AgainLast weekend, I was lucky enough to have a once in a lifetime trip to NYC. It was first planned nearly a year ago when a batch of tickets went onsale for Hamilton (if you don't know what I'm talking about... crack a book... or even pop culture). My primo history nerd pal and I got tickets for the show for September 10th, also her 30th birthday. We laughed at trying to plan a trip nearly a year inAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-24143183694163329452016-09-04T14:16:00.001-04:002016-09-04T16:09:28.629-04:00The Things We Do
Yesterday, the girls requested this song in the car. Then they asked me to turn it up... we were all singing along, and I know you were right there with us. I love you, babe.
Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-46078294217089763102016-09-02T18:57:00.000-04:002016-09-02T18:57:05.609-04:00Measured in SummersMy girls were caregivers to Tony, and most of my time and energy was devoted to him for a long time. Then, they had two parents, but neither of us could really be there for them. Now, they've just got me and I'm really trying to make sure I give it my all.
So, as the traditional end of summer looms I am pondering childhood and summer. It seems to me that childhood is measured in summers. I want Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-74875778818738574872016-08-26T20:41:00.000-04:002016-08-26T20:41:13.619-04:00As Told by LouiseThe other day, Louise asked how your face looked when we met. In attempting to translate that, I thought she was asking about how you looked when you were younger. (background: we have been looking at a lot of pictures lately, and the girls have been asking questions about the way people's looks change over time.)
I told her you were very handsome (of course). But then she rephrased her questionAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-79951606203009945342016-08-20T21:34:00.001-04:002016-08-20T21:34:30.489-04:00Right Here, Right NowIn the past: resigning from a job that I loved, losing my husband to ALS, losing my dad the same year
In the future: figuring out how to get back to work, struggling to be a good single mom
Many sources of stress and woe.
But right now... in this moment, life is pretty damn sweet.
I won't take this golden moment for granted. The rest can wait until tomorrow (or the next day).
Night, night.
Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-52520709318267023302016-08-14T12:25:00.001-04:002016-08-14T12:25:32.755-04:00Big DatesThe big dates on the calendar seem to trigger a few days of brooding. Birthdays, holidays... this time it's the first day of school. Louise is starting kindergarten tomorrow, and Cora starts third grade.
It always seems strange without Tony; something (someone) is missing. The celebrations are always shadowed by that for me, and then I get frustrated that I can't just enjoy the moment. Well, Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-37854864678725779172016-08-08T17:03:00.000-04:002016-08-09T07:37:33.447-04:00My socialites
We all know people who have remarried quickly after losing a spouse. Some people are lucky enough to find love again. Sometimes I'm sure it's mainly to relieve loneliness. I've heard that a local woman said that she remarried quickly because no one invites you out when you are a widow.
In my experience, there's a lot of truth to that. I understand it though. By definition, I am a third wheelAmanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7708288216257168056.post-29319989463750295162016-07-25T16:04:00.001-04:002016-07-25T16:04:31.805-04:00Scholarship UpdateThis appeared in the latest issue of the VMI Alumni Review... There are some pretty flattering remarks about Tony and I... his deserved, mine I'm not sure.
It's great to see it getting a little publicity though! We need more donations to make it over the mark though... if you are willing to help, everything is appreciated!
Give to the Tony Conway '01 Memorial Scholarship
Amanda Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126927326183235884noreply@blogger.com0