Friday, September 16, 2016

Colbert and Back Again

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to have a once in a lifetime trip to NYC. It was first planned nearly a year ago when a batch of tickets went onsale for Hamilton (if you don't know what I'm talking about... crack a book... or even pop culture). My primo history nerd pal and I got tickets for the show for September 10th, also her 30th birthday. We laughed at trying to plan a trip nearly a year in advance, but we made it happen.

Hamilton deserves a post all to itself, but here I'll just say that it was completely incredible and totally worth waiting a year. I'd happily go back again and again.

Instead, I want to write about something I tacked onto the trip in the last weeks before we left... a visit to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Tony and I were fans of Stephen Colbert from the first time we saw him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. When he got his own show on Comedy Central, we watched it avidly and more often than The Daily Show. He is smart, and funny, and so good at shining light on our political system and the idiosyncrasies of us.

Tony and I talked quite a few times about trying to go see The Colbert Report, and we tweeted at him and tried to engage with him about what we were going through. We loved everything he did. We watched his final episodes together and we were both so excited that he would be taking over The Late Show.

I wrote about him last August, after I read an interview he gave. He described his personal tragedy, how his mother helped him handle it, and how accepting it changed his life forever. I can't do it justice... so read it yourself...

This only made me love him more. It helped me with my own grief, and gave me hope that our kids aren't doomed.

So, I got tickets to see The Late Show and it was incredible. I even worked up the courage to stick up my hand during the Q&A before taping. I did it for Tony, or maybe he called on me for Tony... either way, STEPHEN COLBERT AND I TALKED ABOUT HISTORY!

This is what I would have said afterwards if I'd had the gumption...

Stephen, your star is very bright, and deservedly so. Thanks for all the laughs and for everything you do. Thanks for making smartness look cool. I'd love to have a beer with you someday... we could discuss the good times, the bad times, and Harding and his poor card skills!

Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Things We Do

Yesterday, the girls requested this song in the car. Then they asked me to turn it up... we were all singing along, and I know you were right there with us. I love you, babe.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Measured in Summers

My girls were caregivers to Tony, and most of my time and energy was devoted to him for a long time. Then, they had two parents, but neither of us could really be there for them. Now, they've just got me and I'm really trying to make sure I give it my all.

So, as the traditional end of summer looms I am pondering childhood and summer. It seems to me that childhood is measured in summers. I want to make sure my girls have plenty of golden summertime moments. I want them to have great experiences, like weeks at the beach, but mostly I want them to have nights catching lightning bugs, afternoons in the sun, and complicated contraptions built of string up in a tree. Those are the memories I cherish from childhood. I know I must have gone to school at least occasionally, but that's not what shines from my memory.

Logically (and meteorologic-ally), we can still enjoy summer moments beyond this weekend. I don't need to put so much pressure on these three short days. But fall is already creeping in...

Those golden days pass fast, and it means so much more to me to be here for theirs. I hope they remember that part too.

Happy summer, everyone... go catch a lightning bug!

Friday, August 26, 2016

As Told by Louise

The other day, Louise asked how your face looked when we met. In attempting to translate that, I thought she was asking about how you looked when you were younger. (background: we have been looking at a lot of pictures lately, and the girls have been asking questions about the way people's looks change over time.)

I told her you were very handsome (of course). But then she rephrased her question for me... "No, Mommy. How did Daddy's face look when he saw how beautiful you were."

This is romance as told by a five year old. She imagined you, dropped jaw, gazing in awe at my beauty. She's clearly been reading too many romance novels. I'm quite fond of this version though.

Later, I imagined this conversation if you had been there. I think you would have demonstrated your "beauty awe" face, and it would have been similar to your "stinky trash" face. I would have "hmph"-ed, and you would have grinned. Louise would have scolded you too. But then you would have corrected yourself.

I told her what you always told me... that it was my smile that you noticed first. I think I'm going to adopt her version for future tellings though!

I love you, babe.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Right Here, Right Now

In the past: resigning from a job that I loved, losing my husband to ALS, losing my dad the same year

In the future: figuring out how to get back to work, struggling to be a good single mom

Many sources of stress and woe.

But right now... in this moment, life is pretty damn sweet.

I won't take this golden moment for granted. The rest can wait until tomorrow (or the next day).

Night, night.