It's hard to start writing this without getting emotional. Honestly, it's been hard to think about writing this without getting emotional.
I've been writing emails to you for over 18 months now, but this will be the toughest one I'll ever write.
It occurred to me recently that the whole world knows what I'm dealing with, but you and Louise don't. On the one hand, that seems extremely unfair, but on the other hand, I'm fairly sure that my heart will break in two whenever I attempt to give you my news. Perhaps that's the reason I've avoided the conversation. Or maybe it's because I really don't think you'll be able to comprehend the phrase, "Daddy is sick," right now.
In a way, you could argue that it is deceptive of me to keep that news from you, and you'd be right. I would counter that it's just my desire to keep things normal for as long as I can. The condition I have won't allow things to be normal for anywhere near as long as I want...so I guess I'm just doing what I can to keep on having pillow fights, keep playing in the tree house, keep watching movies together, keep making dinner together, keep painting pictures together...just keep on keepin' on. Given my motives, I hope you'll forgive the deception.
ALS gives me so many excuses to become the proverbial floundering ship in a storm, but you, Louise, and your Mum give me the reason to grab the helm and sail.
I love you with all my heart.