it's hard to understand the choice he made
It would do unless you were also suffering from depression or some other similar condition. Is any suicide understandable? Not to those who are left, but society contrives to place us into roles where our options seem limited. Assuming that this was a suicide, Gary Speed must have been a deeply unhappy man, a lonely man - a man who felt that he could not confide in anyone. His culture and his world made that impossible for him, but did not make suicide an impossible option.