Tuesday, April 29, 2014


We bumped in  to a friend at the grocery store yesterday. It was a very pleasant encounter.

One thing did catch my eye during our conversation; a general look of pity or deep concern on our friend's face during the conversation. The lady we spoke to is extremely caring, so I don't take the face in a condescending way.

Earlier that day, my caregivers from hospice were over to give me a shower. I'm usually fairly jovial during their visits. It makes the reality of the situation a little less stark. Plus, an awkward silence seems to multiply in intensity when someone is cleaning out your crack.

On a far more serious note, one of my caregivers apologized and said she might not make it to my appointment on Wednesday. She told me that it would depend on whether her mother passes away in the next two days.

The juxtaposition of the two encounters got me thinking about...


  1. Most people, myself included, find mortality hard to deal with.

    I have a vivid memory of being a child and being struck dumb by a sudden realisation that someday I would not be walking and breathing upon this earth.

    Having the luxury of being able to believe that death is not imminent or probable, most of us can go on to ignore it and not dwell upon it.

    However, when you are in the presence of someone who has to face up to a probable death, your pretences are shattered. You may try to be brave for their sake and it can come across as willfully ignoring the reality of the situation. Equally, if you are too blunt about it, you can come across as callous or, worse still, depressive.

    I think we try to take our lead from you, Tony. If you are upbeat, we will try to reflect your good mood. If you are anxious or worried, we will try to share your worries. And if you are down, we should be down too in sympathy with your situation.

    Anyways, I've rambled enough. Tell us more about what you took from the two contrasting reactions you faced.

    And, if you prefer, I'm stronger talking about football but your da might disagree.

    Till next time.

  2. Tony, good to see you post on CQN tonight...keep it up, you might encourage others (like me) to return to posting. There are still some good people on the blog. Look forward to hearing from you soon...weebobbycollins.

  3. Hi Tony, and please keep posting on CQN. Your contributions would be most welcome. Your Dad and I were talking at cross purposes tonight but we've sorted that out. Sharing your humour and brilliant perspective on life would shame many on the blog. Had to make my contribution via PayPal as in " We Are The PayPal" after this week's hilarity from sevco. Hope it helps. Great site and blog. I'll mention it to CQNers attending the Celtic Supporters Assoc dinner at CP on Friday. HH Tony.and stay strong. (embra) Mike

  4. hi tony, charliebhoy from cqn here I read about your journey to Glasgow with great pleasure, I think that storys like yours, told by you are very inspirational and after recovering from a near death experience, I often wonder why soldiers etc never tell their brave tales, it boosts the moral of anyone to hear how someone can fight the good fight. my battle started in may the 13th 1981 as a motorcyclist I collided with a ford capri, resulting in among other things a triple skull fracture, I was only 20 then but since then ive got married had four kids and now a wee grandson charlie too, the date I mentioned is also the same date that pope jp2 got shot and he came to Glasgow bellahouston to say mass as the popemobile drove past our eyes met and I thought : I bet he never asked "hows charliebhoy"? as soon as he regained consciousness ..you may be aware he was canonised at the weekend there.so the guy telling you this tale has actually looked into the soul of a saint, I will pray to him tonight for you and all the others affected with MND keep the faith tony and in a metaphorical sense, you know you'll never walk alone

  5. Hey Tony,

    I can see that you have daily battles.....not just certain days. I was graciously invited to be at the walk with your family and friends this past weekend. They are all so great and their love and devotion to you and your family is amazing! I was very excited to be a part of it. As we walked and I spoke to your mom and some of your friends. I shared with them about my dad. It never really clicked in my head that my dad also has terminal illness, pulmonary fibrosis. He has been given a time frame in which to live as well. As I sit and interact with each of you from the outside, it's hard to imagine how you guys fill to have that limit on your lives. Both of you show incredible courage and strength. I know that we all must face death at some point in this life. I hear people speak of friends or family members dying to young and others that they lived a long life. We are all here today and gone tomorrow in this life, for it is just a vapor in the wind. It goes by way to fast. Time slips away from us all, we can't add to it.

  6. I say all this to ask you.....what will happen when that day comes? When we each take our last breath here in this world, where will be go? To answer for my dad, which he would tell you in a second, he would say "I'm going to heaven to be with Jesus for eternity". This is a belief and a hope in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I find piece in my heart as well being a follower of Jesus Christ. I know I can have a hope that I will see my dad again in heaven one day. I would like to share that kind of hope with you Tony. As a man facing hard times and every day is a struggle, the hope and promise of Jesus Christ is eternal, today, tomorrow, and for eternity. The gospel or the good news of Jesus is that this hope and eternal life is offered freely to all who would believe in Him and the work He accomplished on the cross at Calvary. To have good news Tony, it must invade into dark places. You see, we all fall short of God's standards. We all sin in our lives. As God is holy, righteous, just, loving, and good. He loves loves us. But "all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" (Rom 3:23). Tony none of us can live up to his standards no matter how good we think we are. The bible says " the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in our Lord Jesus Christ" (Rom 6:23). As sinners separated from God. We will pay for our sins for eternity separated from God and his love in a place called hell. This is the bad news I spoke about. But, "but God shows His love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, Jesus died for us" (Rom 5:8). What amazing love and grace! That while we were enemy's of Gods, He loved us enough to make a way to be reconciled to Himself. Christ has paid the price that we as sinners could never pay. He lived a perfect sinless life and died the death on the cross that we should have died. And on the third day, Christ was raised from the grave and had victory over death, and in doing so, has made a way for salvation for sinners, like me, like my dad, like you Tony. But by confessing our sins to God, and confessing we come so far short of His standards, "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" (Rom 10:9). Tony, this is a free offer to all who would believe. This is not by your efforts, this is not about how good you think you have been. This is how Jesus Christ loves you, loves my dad, loves me. And His work and what He has done in our place. We boast in the cross and the cross of Christ alone. It's not weather we do this, don't do that. Watch this don't watch that. Not by our works Tony, just by His love and His saving grace. This is the hope and the promise of Jesus Christ. This is the peace that I have, that my dad has. I guess this is way I didn't really think much about my dad dying. I know that I will see him again. I believe that no one dies early Tony. God calls them at the exact point He wants them. Is God tugging at your heart Tony. Is he speaking to you. Where is your heart? God has laid this on my heart to share with you that would have a chance to hear the good news, the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the offer of eternal life with Him in heaven. I love and care for your dad. I care deeply for you Tony. If you would like to talk or have questions. Please email me if you want to. jeff.little@idealelectricsvc.com I would be happy to talk to you. Thanks for reading this post. I know its been a long one. But there is so much more amazing things to know about the love of God and what He has planned for us!

    Jeff Little

  7. Tony, what a great sense of humour!
    Keep posting on CQN and keep us up to date with how you are doing.
    I hope you are not affected by the bad weather.
    Take care and God bless!