Wednesday, May 7, 2014


I am fortunate to have a powered wheelchair. They are very expensive. Thankfully, my chair is on loan from the MDA.

Like most chairs, it has plates that fold down for you to rest your feet on. The foot plates are much sought-after real estate between Cora and Louise. They both enjoy zooming around; one at a time, of course.

It has become part of our routine any time we leave the house. The girls get ready (read, "Amanda gets the girls ready"), the rallying cry, "Roll Out," is issued, and the girls race to me to see who gets to go for a ride.

On one recent occasion, Louise was riding with me on the short journey from the house to the van.


As we paused at the top of the ramp, I became genuinely concerned that Louise, who was facing me, could fall backwards off the chair and crack her head on the ramp.

I said, "Louise, grab hold," and gathered my focus on smoothly navigating the ramp.

Louise grabbed the pocket on my sweatpants with her right hand, and I began driving down the ramp.

Halfway down the ramp, my hand  on the controls twitched and the wheelchair lurched a little.

I responded by redoubling my effort to focus on driving safely and smoothly.

Louise got startled, and responded by deciding that she would quickly grab on with her left hand, and double her hold on me.

Unfortunately for me, Louise, in her haste, clutched on to one of my testicles.


  1. Ouch!!

    I can feel your pain.

    I think you should get handlebars fitted for your passengers.


    Tony, that anecdote made me grimace lol...For the past 5 years or so I have been helping my wife in the making of a documentary about an incredibly talented young kid from Tbilisi in Georgia. 11 years old now, he is paralysed from the waist down. However, he has a mental strength I can only envy, having learned to play basketball, the violin and now receiving archery lessons. Officially, he is a Hibs fan although, on his last visit to Scotland (he comes occasionally for medical treatment) he was taken to Celtic Park by the Spinal Injuries CSC...Anyway, the point being, I found this little film to send to him in the hope it will inspire him in his future ambitions. I hope you enjoy it...take care, weebobbycollins.

  3. sore one!

    There once was an native american who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
    After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
    Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
    He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
    Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
    She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
    Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
    Everyone knows... You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!


  4. Ah Tony, you have brought tears to my eyes, which is probably what happened to you as well!
    I can picture the scene, "What's wrong Daddy? Why are you holding your breath?" :-)