hi Tonyhope you are in good spirits,Paolo's 3rd album and all pretty different ,some chanter.anyhooo i do a bit of support work with someone who gets a bit down now and againand she finds this helps : she does the duck bit i do the barman.......Duck goes into a bar and say’s to barmanGot any bread ?Barman says no we don’t have any breadNext day duck comes in againGot any bread ?Barman says no we don’t have any breadThis happens every day for a weekDuck comes into bar on 8th dayGot any bread ?Barman say’s right thatsF####NG it ya weeF###ER if you ask that again I will nail your beakTo the bar!!!!!!!Next day duck comes in and ask’s the barmanYou got any nails?Barman say’s no I don’t have any nails..Duck say’s got any bread then?i know it's an old one but it put's the smile back on her faceH.Hbognorbhoy
Paolo's got a very strange voice but he writes some uplifting upbeat songs and he's a good Tim.Now, a computer programming joke:-A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQtat8hn-18John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had apet.He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy anunusual pet.After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug),which came in a little white box to use for his house.He took the box home, found a good location for the box and decided hewould start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.So he asked the centipede in the box; 'Would you like to go to Tony's place with me and have a beer?'Silence.... there was no answer from his new Pet.This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then asked him again, 'How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?'Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet.So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time, putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, 'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Tony's place and have a beer with me?......A little voice came out of the box..."I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my ****ing shoes."Tony, a wee song and a wee joke...hope you enjoy them...weebobbycollins.