We're starting to tick through holidays without you, and today is my first Mother's Day without you.
Last year, I was really frustrated on Mother's Day. I dressed up, and you didn't say anything. I wanted you to send me an e-card or an email with some sweet words to mark the day. I pestered you about it, and you did write me an email. You told me how frustrated you were because you couldn't give me the day I deserved.
That wasn't what I was after at all... I didn't care a lick about not getting breakfast in bed. All I wanted was some attention from you. I wanted you to do what you could do better than anyone, no matter your condition... make me feel special.
I know that your failing body frustrated you endlessly, and I'm sorry I was being selfish. Everyone needs a little special attention sometimes. It's hard to be a care giver, but I still feel a bit guilty.
So this Mother's Day, I wear the mother's necklace you gave me and your wedding band. I miss you. I'll look at the pictures of our time together. I'll spend time with the beautiful girls we made. And I know I'll never forget how special you always made me feel.
I love you always and thank you for making me a mother!